They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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