I think I died a long time ago.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
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Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
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you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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