I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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