Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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