Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize