Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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