did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
