he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.