idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
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He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
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I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.