Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.