so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
so he's a sleeptalker.
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.