DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
