guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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