Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
