I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i permit you to call me
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
