DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
my shit smells like andre
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
