listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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