My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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