I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
