I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
