Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm too high and old for this...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
