I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
