GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
