My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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