I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize