how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize