I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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