She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
