Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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