he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
