Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
