FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
