ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
