i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
