He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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