Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
