I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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