you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
