idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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