walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
