help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
