Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
