What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm both gender and math confused
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