Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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