i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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