Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
