KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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