so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
