i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Alive.
So much puke
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
