I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
