seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
