This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
