I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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