I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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