I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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