she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This is classic penis vs brain.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
