I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?