i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
