ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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