two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
