i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
