how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
