He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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