If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
