I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
